Harry Potter and the Fall of the European Union
by HarryCumSquat
Summary: Harry destroys the European Union.


Harry Potter was fucking pissed. The European Union of Magical Countries had gone too fucking far. They were gonna restrict the free trade of broomstick manufacturing kits, and Harry did not approve of this fucking bullshit. He was gonna make himself the best god damn broomstick he could, and no fucking bureaucrat sitting in magical Brussels was gonna stop him from cheating and mounting air-to-air missiles on his Firebolt to finally destroy that fucking Malfoy once and for all.

Harry thought to himself and realized that he was going to have to lead this movement, to get Magical Britain out of the EUMC and achieve true sovereignty once and for all.

The first thing on his agenda was simple: Storm the ministry and execute Fudge, once and for all. Harry recruited Ron, a fellow proponent of free trade, and Hermione who really loved worker rights, and decided to strike at dawn.

Dawn came, and so did Harry. The ministry didn't see what was happening until it was too late. Harry blew down the door with a magical shotgun(™) which shot bullets made of gun. The door exploded into a million pieces, which died.

Fuge was stood in the main hall of the ministry. He was pointing his wand at Harry, who stared back with anger in his gaze.

"Fudge, you cunt!" he said, reloading his shotgun with the power of the free markets.

"You're fucking up my gameplan to destroy Draco Malfoy, who I'm gonna ruin at quidditch with the power of explosions and MISTRAL missiles"

Fudge looked at Harry angrily.

"You fucking cunt, death is coming for you, traitor. The EUMC is the future of the British economy and laws"

Harry gave Fudge a death glare that could have melted through the strongest of metal walls.

"I'm gonna destroy you like you wanted to destroy the free markets!" He shouted while committing war crimes.

Fidge shook in fear and submitted to the great powers of freedom that Harry exuded with his very presence.

"Ok, I surrender, please don't destroy me!"

Harry gave him a pitying look, though his fury never diminished.

"You're gonna pull our god damn country out of the fucking EUMC or I'm gonna introduce your cockhole to this fucking shotgun I swear fudge."

Fudge shook so hard that he almost had a heart attack.

"Yeah ok you are right Harry, sovereignty is the greatest thing ever I'm gonna tell the EUMC to fuck off."

Then from the heavens above the ministry atrium, Boris johnson descended.

"HARRY, DEPLOY THE FREE MARKETS AND END THE CRIPPILING PROCTECTIONIST EUMC SUPTERSTATE!"

"Ok Boris you have convinced me, I will destroy this corrupt institution of statism." Harry said, freedom glinting in his eyes.

"Now its time to declare war on Europe!" He said, energized by sovereignty.

An hour later in Brussels, the EU building exploded with the force of a thousand suns. Ron had put on a suicide vest containing a supernova spell, and he ran straight into the EU headquarters wearing no underpants, only explosives.

Within moments, the European Union was forcefully dissolved with the power of nuclear annihilation.

And so Europe was freed from the curse that was the EU that had destroyed Europes with the immigration of the blacks and African Muslims who destroyed Europe.

Harry won the day once again and gloated to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore about his success.

"Albus you dumb stupid idiot why the fuck did you make the EUMC back in 1945 you fuck you destroyed all of Europe and held us back a 100 years."

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and he looked at Harry patronizingly.

"Harry, you child, you see I wanted Europe to become one! But alas that is not what happened. You see, I did a wrong and it fucked up everything."

Harry gave Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore a death stare.

"Old man, you're an idiot. Europe can never be united as one, it just doesn't work."

"Yes now I realized this Harry, I have been enlightened by free markets and non-interventionist governments which aren't led by Stalinist communist fucks hell-bent on destroying the world."

"Thanks, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, freedom is the only good."

"Yes."

"Ok good I'm gonna go leave u now and bury the remains of Ron who sacrificed himself for freedom and liberty."

"Ok, Harry you do that he died for a good cause and I am proud of both you and him."

"Thank you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, you're a good lad after all."

"Yes Harry though I did a lot of bad stuff over the time of my career, I have redeemed myself by allowing you to save the freedom of Europe through ending the EUMC."

"That's great, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but have I told you about TODAY'S SPONSOR, RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, THE BEST SELLING FREE MOBLINE GAME FOR ANDROID AND IOS PHONES YOU'LL LOVE RAID FOR BEING A GOOD GAME AND NOT BAD LIKE THE OTHER MOBILE GAMES WHICH ARE BAD!"

"Wow, Harry, I will go and check out Raid Shadow Legends right now, and use code 'FUCKYOUCUNT2019' to get one free elite champion and 1000000 billion money for the game which is great."

Harry went and buried Ron, who was dead after suicide bombing the European Union. Life was good without Ron, who was dead. Hermione became Harrys bitch wife, and their marriage was unhappy for many years until their divorce, after which Hermione was a barren cunt and Harry fucked Ginny every day and made lots of red-haired disgusting ginger babies.

Hermione ended up in an unhappy second marriage to Dean Thomas, a black guy from the hood. She got abused and beaten every day, and regretted ever leaving Harry. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore died childless at the age of 12992 in the year 10028, after ascending Hogwarts into a space empire that spanned a galaxy and a half.

Harry Potter would eventually unite the world under the power of the free markets. The state of Mexico was dissolved, and the drugs flowed freely into the inner cities of America, fuelling a century of ethnic tensions and eventually leading to a civil war that devastated America.

Ginny ended up in Stanford county jail for a misdemeanor (civil disobedience), and her children could not afford to pay for her bail, and so she was stuck in jail until she died at the age of 27.

Draco Malfoy died in an unfortunate accident when Harry fired an air-to-air missile at him during a quidditch match, after which Lucius Malfoy was quoted as saying "Ok mate I don't fucking care."

Voldemort choked on a piece of lasagna or something, I dont fucking care.

And so the story ends, and it was great.

Read nad review or ill use your spinmal chord as a fukcing murder weapon and implicate you for commiting 84 homocides in the state of wyoming

Editors note - if you read the above, you can see the state of the story before I went through and fixed it. Every line was like that, if not worse.


End file.
